Another one who created an account on itch.io just to leave a comment ...
You have no idea how long I've been searching for some good interactive fiction with a story that occupies the rare middle ground between banal left-to-right conversations in anime cliche and overwrought essays of pretentious purple prose. This demo sucked me in immediately and whenever there's a full release I'll be buying it on day one.
Your English is outstanding and I didn't suspect it wasn't your first language until I was halfway through the demo (a few preposition choices here and there - nothing major and nothing that detracted whatsoever from my enjoyment).
It's a rare talent in any language to have a feel for real environments and real people, for showing rather than telling, and trusting an audience to draw conclusions without spelling them out. I hope your game receives all the success it deserves when it's released - good luck.
Thank you, lhynnith. Back when I was a teen, purple prose was my usual style, and it took many years before I learned how to express myself with fewer, simpler words. When I read some English authors I feel like maybe I'm actually *too* simplistic and repetitive, but such insecurities are difficult to face since I don't have a publisher and a full-time editors collaborating with me. All I can do is hope that my best will be good enough, and I'm really glad you were able to connect with my attempts.
Still, I'm currently assisted by a kindhearted spellchecker, so I still believe that the final version of the game will be even smoother to read. : )
Man good work on this all around. Very cool how it keeps a lot of details about frontier life grounded near reality without shying away from cool fantasy elements. It's the right balance of danger and adventure. Looking forward to the full release.
Damn, thanks a lot. It's really hard to be original when it comes to any fiction, even one that's based sorely on imagination, so I try to just explore the ideas I find interesting, without trying to reject anything "typical" for the genre just for the sake of it. It's weird to have a setting I love that has no real resemblance with the fantasy worlds I grew up with, but I hope that thanks to those other, more daily things I explore I'll manage to keep it interesting, not empty.
Nice demo, I’m just starting the journey but got some feedback.
Writing:
I liked the fact you can choose your archetype, past and ambitions via dialogues and thoughts, but my archetype didn’t seem to affect my dialogue in that first part. It did affect my inventory though, so I guess it wil be useful later.
UX:
When I was about to sleep, the icon showed my I would be left with 1 quarter of heart, but the next day I had half a heart. I guess the quarter of heart was just symbolic?
Misc typos:
if you decide not to get friend with the horse: “preseance” => “presence” (this one is easy to find with a spell-checker, the next ones are trickier)
“you’re not surprised to not be offered you any meal”
“The man looks uneasy. “They …” (wrong space placement)
“The Common Church often warn its member” => “members” I guess
“points a finger to the north west” => “North West”
just after, “the east” => “the East”
By the way, nice use of Ren’Py, if it wasn’t for the project structure and the menu, I wouldn’t have recognized it!
Thanks a lot! I'll take care of the typos right away. Just a question - when you were going to sleep, are you sure there was no minus sign nest to the icon of the heart? I've assumed it was clear that it meant "you will loose a quarter of a heart", and not "all you will be left with is a quarter of a heart". Maybe I should give this image a description in a text box if hovered.
Ren'Py really makes working on the project so much easier, I'm grateful I can use it. : )
I don’t remember but yes, the minus sign would make sense, since I had 3/4 heart to start with so it would do the math. But I think it didn’t occur to me that symbols could be subtracted, unlike figures.
(usually I’d prefer a good old -2 HP, but you’d have to explain that 1 heart = 4 HP and that’s harder to follow)
Maybe the damage heart could be in a different color, as in Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire contests:
Or there could be a transition [heart before] -> [heart after] so there is no need for negative values.
First itch.io project I'm commenting on, but really wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this! It's 100% my kind of game, and I couldn't stop playing it. Did everything I could in one sitting. Please keep up the good work on it! Atmosphere, setting, characters, mechanics are all really good and will only get better I think :) I want to see more of the world.
Similar feedback to others, but #1 is I'd say definitely hire an English editor. Your writing is really good and engaging, tons of new interesting ideas and perfect content-wise, so I'd just want it to be cleaned up as much as possible whenever it goes to wider public release so that everything that's good about it can shine through (I say this speaking as an editor). All writers, native English speakers or not, need an editor!
As someone who also got stuck at the dolmen, I think something as simple as highlighting possible bits of text you could search in a different color or something would work well. Like: "You see a firepit with some scattered bones. The wall is marked with soot."
The text input mechanic worked really well with asking the barkeep about people, though, and being able to reference the journal made it super easy. I think there's very good ideas there that will easily polish.
Oh, maybe this was just me, but for the longest time I couldn't figure out that I could just click "Rest" and "Leave" any time they were there. I was so focused on the dialogue and story text that I wasn't paying attention to the menu. Maybe some text prompt that just says "You can Rest here" or "You can Leave from here" when you're in an area where it's possible.
I loved the "character creation" type choices in the text, where you picked a class and equipment and stuff. I think filling out a character in that way is really cool and would love more of it.
Finishing the demo by returning to the city and everyone being disappointed in you was kind of a bummer lol. Maybe include an option that clearly ends the demo while still in the peninsula?
That's all I can think of for now, but am definitely following this game and excited to see more!! Keep it up!
Thank you for choosing Roadwarden to be your first! <3 I'm after a very long couple of weeks filled with writing a whole lot of new content, and it feels so great to suddenly see such a kind comment!
Actually, I've tried to "upgrade" the exploration of the dolmen a bit. You can find more information in the latest devlog, but here's an example. Basically, I've provided more visual clues, so it will be easier to remember any significant clues that the player may find. : )
Thank you for pointing out the lack of clarity with the Leave and Rest buttons, I've heard a similar opinion before and it may be true that I need to provide a better tutorial, or maybe a more distinct visual clue. It gets tricky, since there's a lot of dialogues in the games during which you can "leave" an area, but only when you don't talk about anything specific, so it gets turned on and off all the time. : P It needs to remain subtle.
I currently hope that the game will be edited by the publisher, but its getting trickier and trickier as the time goes on. I'm struggling with deadlines, and there's a LOT of text. Trust me, the demo is already a very small chunk of the game, and I'm still far from finishing it. : )
Once again, thank you and I hope you'll see one of the "happy" endings in not such a distant future. : )
Hello! I just played the demo, finished it in two sittings (had family visiting today). Here is my feedback, although I should let you know that I am not a game developer myself, and this is the first time I've ever commented on something!
I really enjoyed the artwork, the music, and the storytelling- I especially liked the fact that before exploring, there were parts on the map were blacked out. It added to a sense of unease, which perpetrated the entire game. I definitely felt placed in the world-- anxious for what could pop up and possibly hurt my roadwarden or horse. The journal also helped for remembering names and what was already talked about. Maybe impliment something in the journal that calls note to time sensitive quests would be useful, although not doing that could also force the player to be more careful and pay attention to detail.
I think when it comes to investigating things (the sections where you input text on what you want to look at), you could possibly implement an area where the things are more "obvious" to investigate? Or, perhaps edit one you already have. For example, the stone building-- put a more obvious sign on the inside, a campfire, etc that would prompt players to start playing with it in that way. The suggestions were a nice jumping off point, but maybe a section with more "obvious" things to look at would help players get a better sense of the feature, especially those who have not played text RPGs before. I'm thinking of video essays I've watched about intuitive tutorials, where game play got players to figure out what they needed to do without explicit text. I think the tree did this a little bit. After I guessed and put in cut to cut the branches and noticed the blood-like fluid, I knew to sacrifice blood to the tree.
I really enjoyed the game and the characters. I was sad when the demo ended! I'm looking forward to the finished game, and hope my ramble-y feedback was at least somewhat useful.
I'm honored to receive your first comment! Feedback is definitely not reserved for game developers, and I appreciate that you've decided to describe both your enjoyment and the things that you perceive as shortcomings.
And I think that you're right - the dolmen requires more effort on my side and more visual clues. It's one of the oldest parts I've added to the game, and after reading your comment I think it needs to be updated to better reflect the quality I'm aiming for.
I really enjoyed the demo. Love the atmosphere, I got immersed in this world for sure.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW
Question, where does this demo end? I'm done with the quest for scavenger, tried to do some sacrifice on the altar (no success), done the investigation over the fallen tree.
Plus, I received error message while browsing through the journal, see the full text here: https://pastebin.com/ZwJvADP0
Also, will the Archive be searchable in the next releases?
Thank you, ArquesMartin, I'm sorry that you've encountered a bug. I'll fix it as soon as I can.
The demo "ends" once you unlock 3 "grey" areas that you can't visit. Since you've seen the blockade and the tree in the swamps, it looks like you're done.
I'm not sure how exactly is the Archive going to work closer to the release. You're not the first person that is not satisfied with its current state, but trying to make it more complex is going to be very difficult. I was hoping to make the Journal play a similar role, since it summarizes various information about characters and quests.
Thank you so much for your feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed your time!
Archive is not a bad idea overall, maybe it should be categorized somehow? Like per conversation?
Or, just remove it and, like you say, focus more on the Journal. It may be really hard to use Archives after several hours ingame. Even once those are nicely done - just too much content. Filtering, categorizing, sorting will not make the task easier, still hundreds of pages full of text.
Okay then, I really enjoyed the game in its current state and I just can't wait to see how it progresses. Great work!
I think you're on the right track, thank you that you've decided to share your thoughts. I'm so happy to see that my game is actually interesting for other people, not just me. <3
Hi there! I actually plan to release a new version of the demo very soon, I'm just not sure what the publisher is going to tell. Would you like to wait for a bit?
i liked the idea, only that i think you should make a bit more evident the use of the scholar hability i didn´t notice i could use it in the stone building
Thanks for the demo. I really enjoyed the hour of getting lost in that world. It was a nice experience.
As was mentioned by one player before I had trouble to figure out what to search for / what to type in. After I recognized that I had to use words out of the textgroup before it went way smoother then my failings before. With this said it would be nice to explain this for n00bs like me ;)
I also wondered why there weren't people sitting in the camp after I went in but the text described them. Would be cool to see some depicted there.
Thanks for all the effort and I wish you and your team all the best for the development. Looking forward to the full release!
I just finished playing the demo and I'm sooooo exited to see the full game! The graphics are fantastic and the storytelling well round off. Keep up! You are doing a great job!
Played through this demo just now and really enjoyed it. I like the concept, the initial depictions of the world, and the way the prose communicates the physicality of being on a long journey. I love the descriptions and interactions with the peninsula's wildlife and the thought given to how this society operates. I know the music is meant to be temporary but it fits the style of the game quite well. The attitude system is also an interesting concept.
I have a few comments:
-As others have pointed out, there are many, many grammar and spelling errors. However, they don't interfere with comprehension for the most part, so I didn't feel like they were a huge deal at this stage. There was one exception, though: the text minigame prompt being "What are you looking for" and not "What will you look at" or something similar made me think I needed some specific goal or item in mind. The initial answer being "floor" doesn't make sense in that context (the floor is right there, why do I need to look for it?)
-The conversation with the soldiers felt less like a conversation and more like reading several encyclopedia entries. I understand the need to communicate details of the world to the player, but I think they should be spaced apart more and introduced more naturally, especially because I think this world is an interesting place.
-Most of the dialogue choices with the soldiers boiled down to "be an asshole" vs "don't be an asshole", which is never that compelling in video games. I think it'd be more interesting if the conversation was based around the two groups' lack of initial trust in each other, which they could then develop... or not. As is, there didn't seem to be a reason for me to ever not be polite.
(Damn it, and I thought my English got so much better! I have to be more careful!)
I mean, ahem, ahem!
Dear Mr. Hepto, : )
Thank you so much not only for your encouragement, but also for such a gently presented and fair criticism! I want to make it as clear as I can that the things that you've listed are all on my "to do" list, even though I'm not entirely able to agree with your suggestion about "What will you look at." I'll keep thinking, however, about a better way to say "What do you want to pay attention to or look for or interact with right now in hope to find new clues and move forward," I'm sure there's a way to make it feel smoother. : P
There are things that I really want to change in this demo, but I've decided to move forward and push toward finishing the rest of the game. Then I can rewrite the prologue so it would better reflect what's necessary to prepare the player for the rest of their adventure. I also have in mind new ways to convey information, ways that I know worked quite well in other RPGs I've played.
I can be terribly perfectionistic, so I have to force myself to not spend too much time revisiting the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry the game isn't as good right now as it should be, but I promise I'm going to make it proud of the final product!
Once again, thank you so much and I'm glad that you've enjoyed your time as a roadwarden. : )
Played the 0.3 Demo and generally enjoyed it. Great job!
The art style is nice, and the dedication to story is great.
I did think there was a lag in the pacing of the conversation with the soldiers. It didn't feel meaty enough in the information received to justify the time spent at it. Maybe if they are intended to be more major in the future. I also found the tone of the soldiers to be a little flippant or perhaps too casual when discussing the dangers of the road. That's surely a personal preference, though. Perhaps it was the density of all the references during the info dumps that made it seem so.
I found the typing minigame to be less interesting. It's obvious there must be a secret door there but randomly trying in keywords to find the right pattern was not too fun. It also seems to reset when you type in a wrong word, so I repeated the same keywords many times to get back to where I left off.
I'm sure more graphics will come with time, but would love to see some of the soldiers, the gryphons, etc.
I look forward to the process and improvements, thanks for putting the demo out there!
Thank you, Mochnant, for your feedback! I have some ideas how I could make the game progress faster, I just need to have a larger part of the game finished to be able to measure all the pros and cons. I really appreciate that you've decided to let me know what you think - I take every piece of criticism very seriously, especially when it clearly comes from one's kindness and willingness to help.
I'm also glad that you've like my devlog. It took me a lot of time to put it together. ^^
Thought I'd follow this one up and say I have played through the initial solider conversation in the release version and it is fantastic now. Even having played it before, I was convinced they were going to murder me.
It was interesting, well paced, and tense! Well done!
Hi. I just checked the demo. First of all, the music is amazing! Is it available on soundcloud? It really fits the mood of the game and does not distract form the process. Second, the dialogs are nice - I really felt the personalities of soldiers there. But at the same time I wanted more action (got bored at some point reading and reading, but maybe I'm just not from the target audience of the game :-) ). I'd like the game had more management aspect as in "the dark room". And, of course, seeing NPCs and gryphons illustrations would be really nice. I also really like the colour palette and pixel art - it really adds to the aesthetics here. i feel the game has quite a lot of potential, keep it up!
BTW does the demo end after the road is cleared from gryphons(I used the pedant)?, because the game was reset and I was returned to the home screen instantly after that (though I see from the devlog screenshot there is some more content in the demo). Anyways, I am lazy to start from the beginning to check if that was a bug or it really ended there (yup, I had no saves available because I could not same my progress, send you the error details via email).
Thank you, Alex! I think you've encountered a bug, and I'm glad you let me know about it. The demo should have had about 2 more "scenes" after the griffon encounter, and I think there may be a problem with the Mac version after all - specifically with saving. I'm going to work on that.
I really appreciate your feedback, and you can find more information about the soundtrack here. There's a chance that the tracks used in the demo won't be used in the final version of the game, but I still hope it won't turn this way. : )
Though I wish the demo was a little longer, it gives a good impression on what more is to come. I'm definitely looking forward to playing the full game.
Very nice feel to it and the music sets a perfect mood for a game like this! I really liked how you could choose whether to act friendly or with less emotions towards other characters you meet, makes it even more immersive.
How long did it take for you to create a multiple option game? :)
I don't know if you've heard of Game Development World Championship before (gdwc2019) but it's a competition for indie games and it's free to apply! It's great if you want some more visibility for the game and it only takes a couple of minutes to join.
Thank you! I believe I've been thinking about the design for about a year now, made the first concept art in January and what you could see in the demo is the result of about 3-4 months of development.
I'm definitely going to take a closer at GDWC later today, thank you for the invitation!
Ran fine, Nothing conflicted with my rig. The visual novel itself was very well done. Multiple options seems like story ends up based on your selections. I have a AMD-A8 5600k CPU with GTX 970 GPU
Hi there! There's a good chance I'll have the new version of the demo ready on Friday, but I'm going to look for someone willing to test the Mac version since I can create a game's build for it (and I know it worked before), but I can't test it myself. Would you be interested? ; )
The demo was shorter than I expected, but I enjoyed what I saw from my characters' adventures. Love being able to use different attitudes when approaching situations; it helps in making separate playthroughs feel more unique. My only quibble is with the writing sounding a bit "modern" for the setting, but it's really not that big of a deal.
Thank you, Adi, I appreciate that you decided to share you thoughts! Would you like to say a bit more about the "modern" writing that you've mentioned? Is it that the idioms that I'm using are too modern, or maybe some words feel like they don't belong?
It's very minor, but some of the words used by the soldiers sound somewhat contemporary. I feel stuff like "crazy shit" or "boyfriend" would sound a bit out of place if someone were to say them 100~200 years ago (at least, outside of America).
I see, thank you! I assumed it's clear that these characters don't really use English, but rather that the game translates the dialogue from a non-existent language to one that we can understand. Maybe I should do a better job with expressing it.
I investigated the Stone Chapel right after the first crossroad before heading to the tavern. After a few inputs and further investigation, i got to this message: "...one picture is very clear for you. A long arrow pointing down". Now no matter what i type the MC wont investigate what the arrow is pointing at! I mean its clear that the MC has an interest in this arrow (at least i would) but when i type (for example) "arrow" it says: "You havent found it"... Is this a bug maybe? If not: How the heck should i investigate this? Since the game has a time-mechanic, backtracking isnt much of an option to me either... Or is this chapel a WiP? I really want to give feedback but after spending about 20 minutes of reading the prologue and deciding wether or not to go to the tavern first, im stuck in this hut :/
Hi! Yes, you can go below! There's a separate quest related to the dolmen, but it's not currently a part of the demo. During this quest you'll get to know that you should look for a "trapdoor". If you'd pick a scholar, your could also read the inscription to find a direct clue.
The arrow that you can currently see is, well, vague, since you can't read. If you'd like to go deeper, you should look for a "hatch" or "trapdoor". Nevertheless, you're almost at the very end of the current stage of the demo version.
I clicked on the "achievement" when shown in the first crossroads (mine was fighter's axe) and I got this error:
'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While running game code: File "game/areas/prologue.rpy", line 2617, in script menu: TypeError: list indices must be integers, not Null
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
Full traceback: File "game/areas/prologue.rpy", line 2617, in script menu: File "D:\Games\roadwarden\Roadwarden-0.25-pc\renpy\ast.py", line 1608, in execute next_node(self.items[choice][2][0]) TypeError: list indices must be integers, not Null
Windows-8-6.2.9200 Ren'Py 7.2.1.457 Roadwarden 0.25 Fri May 24 14:19:19 2019
this looks really cool! definitely a project I'll follow, the atmosphere and setting are interesting and evocative, and the premise offers a lot of opportunities for exploring and adventure.
Very good game and interesting idea :D The colors are simple but fit the atmosphere very well. I hope there will be more information for the MC (I dont know if I missed it or not, but there is no gender for the MC ?).
Thanks you for creating such a beautiful game :) Im looking forward to your future updates :)
Thank you as well for your kind comment, Punnn! I Hope to create a game in which the MC is a character that you build by your own choices and actions. I currently avoid describing their gender exactly because I want to give the player a complete freedom of choice, and in this setting genders are not as important as in feudal or post-feudal societies of medieval Europe. For the sake of the player's own imagination, I also don't want to provide a specific character portrait. Nevertheless, this design approach still may be changed in the future.
Really want to try this but sadly my BitDefender is blocking the exe as it detects (correctly or incorrectly) malware in the exe. Sigh. Will try again with a later version. Game looks like it will be my cup of tea, so good luck with it! I will continue to follow developments - saw it on RockPaperShotgun btw
I'm sorry, I can only give you my word that so far nobody experienced any sort of malware-like issues and the game doesn't try to steal your data or anything - it's working completely offline.
However, I did find posts reaching as far back as 2013 which are also related to BitDefender - it even considered the Ren'Py itself (not the games, just the engine!) a false-positive. So I think it may be an issue that will never be fixed. : (
Thanks for that, though as Ingix says below I've had no issue with other Ren'Py games (I do a lot of python development myself). I'll try the next version you release. Happy to buy this game btw - looks very cool!
I also use Bitdefender, and don't remember any problems with the demo. Also I run Ren'Py games semi-regularly, and I don't think there is a general problem with it any more with Bitdefender.
This was a lovely little game! I presume later versions will have some kind of proper intro to ease the player into it, but for now that soothing guitar does the job.
I really like the simplicity of the colours, the art style, the music. The writing has me interested and wanting to start a new save to experience some of the other options, which is exactly as it should be.
My only criticisms would be first that you are clearly not a native English speaker and at times this comes across, either with odd punctuation or phrasing or with spelling mistakes. For a game like this the writing is the most important factor so this would need to be rectified.
Secondly, as neat as the colour palette is, it is quite difficult to quickly distinguish between the text and the choices, and the emotion options in the bottom right corner need to be more prominent. Perhaps the best way to make the choices stand out more would be some kind of ornate paragraph marker coming after the text, i.e.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (but nicer looking)
With the emotion options it would be more convenient if they were integrated into the choices themselves, as I found myself forgetting to select an emotion.
Overall though, I enjoyed this. If I didn't I wouldn't be spending my time writing this to hopefully improve the game. Looking forward to more!
Thank you so much! All of the things that you pointed out are important to me - even if some of them won't directly impact my approach to the game, gathering this kind of feedback helps me think about potential issues from a different point of view.
However, I can promise that I'll do my best to give the dialogues a decent proofreader. : )
I appreciate that you decided to reach out to me, thank you so much for it.
Nice demo. I really like the music, the guitar fits well and the art work is simple but effective and adds to the game. I wonder if there will be other guitar tracks for other areas of the game such as when entering darker or more dangerous areas? and another track when encountering unknown characters or situations.
The Archive is a nice feature, it would be cool if there is a search bar which can handle two keywords and search the whole archive, reordering it to the search and highlighting keywords. So you might enter a region name + second keyword. That could be a fun way to delve into what you already have learned rather than the game track of this for you, where it might say when you arrive at a location 'here is the ruined hunters cabin the tinker said you will find something written on the inside wall..' etc. Typing hunters cabin would jump to that part in the archive of conversations.
Also you could perhaps add the ability to highlight a sentence or paragraph and right click to save it as a personal archive, another option in the side menu. Which kind of acts as a note book, adding what we might consider important info to quickly re-read later.
Anyway keep up the good work and i look forward to playing the game when its finished.
There are still many things unknown about the soundtrack, there's a chance that it will be even significantly replaced. Nevertheless, music is very important for me and I hope to use it to give various areas unique mood and personality.
I'll think about the search feature and the other ideas that you mentioned (I'm not sure if I'm capable of adding them), but I hope that the "journal" is going to play a similar goal that you have in mind.
Once again, thank you for your time and the encouragement. : )
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Another one who created an account on itch.io just to leave a comment ...
You have no idea how long I've been searching for some good interactive fiction with a story that occupies the rare middle ground between banal left-to-right conversations in anime cliche and overwrought essays of pretentious purple prose. This demo sucked me in immediately and whenever there's a full release I'll be buying it on day one.
Your English is outstanding and I didn't suspect it wasn't your first language until I was halfway through the demo (a few preposition choices here and there - nothing major and nothing that detracted whatsoever from my enjoyment).
It's a rare talent in any language to have a feel for real environments and real people, for showing rather than telling, and trusting an audience to draw conclusions without spelling them out. I hope your game receives all the success it deserves when it's released - good luck.
I... don't know how to respond. : o
Thank you, lhynnith. Back when I was a teen, purple prose was my usual style, and it took many years before I learned how to express myself with fewer, simpler words. When I read some English authors I feel like maybe I'm actually *too* simplistic and repetitive, but such insecurities are difficult to face since I don't have a publisher and a full-time editors collaborating with me. All I can do is hope that my best will be good enough, and I'm really glad you were able to connect with my attempts.
Still, I'm currently assisted by a kindhearted spellchecker, so I still believe that the final version of the game will be even smoother to read. : )
Man good work on this all around. Very cool how it keeps a lot of details about frontier life grounded near reality without shying away from cool fantasy elements. It's the right balance of danger and adventure. Looking forward to the full release.
Damn, thanks a lot. It's really hard to be original when it comes to any fiction, even one that's based sorely on imagination, so I try to just explore the ideas I find interesting, without trying to reject anything "typical" for the genre just for the sake of it. It's weird to have a setting I love that has no real resemblance with the fantasy worlds I grew up with, but I hope that thanks to those other, more daily things I explore I'll manage to keep it interesting, not empty.
Nice demo, I’m just starting the journey but got some feedback.
Writing:
UX:
Misc typos:
By the way, nice use of Ren’Py, if it wasn’t for the project structure and the menu, I wouldn’t have recognized it!
Thanks a lot! I'll take care of the typos right away. Just a question - when you were going to sleep, are you sure there was no minus sign nest to the icon of the heart? I've assumed it was clear that it meant "you will loose a quarter of a heart", and not "all you will be left with is a quarter of a heart". Maybe I should give this image a description in a text box if hovered.
Ren'Py really makes working on the project so much easier, I'm grateful I can use it. : )
I don’t remember but yes, the minus sign would make sense, since I had 3/4 heart to start with so it would do the math. But I think it didn’t occur to me that symbols could be subtracted, unlike figures.
(usually I’d prefer a good old -2 HP, but you’d have to explain that 1 heart = 4 HP and that’s harder to follow)
Maybe the damage heart could be in a different color, as in Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire contests:
Or there could be a transition [heart before] -> [heart after] so there is no need for negative values.
A great update post!
Thank you, it's great to hear that! : )
No worries. Stay safe in these strange times! I hope the game development continues well.
First itch.io project I'm commenting on, but really wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this! It's 100% my kind of game, and I couldn't stop playing it. Did everything I could in one sitting. Please keep up the good work on it! Atmosphere, setting, characters, mechanics are all really good and will only get better I think :) I want to see more of the world.
Similar feedback to others, but #1 is I'd say definitely hire an English editor. Your writing is really good and engaging, tons of new interesting ideas and perfect content-wise, so I'd just want it to be cleaned up as much as possible whenever it goes to wider public release so that everything that's good about it can shine through (I say this speaking as an editor). All writers, native English speakers or not, need an editor!
As someone who also got stuck at the dolmen, I think something as simple as highlighting possible bits of text you could search in a different color or something would work well. Like: "You see a firepit with some scattered bones. The wall is marked with soot."
The text input mechanic worked really well with asking the barkeep about people, though, and being able to reference the journal made it super easy. I think there's very good ideas there that will easily polish.
Oh, maybe this was just me, but for the longest time I couldn't figure out that I could just click "Rest" and "Leave" any time they were there. I was so focused on the dialogue and story text that I wasn't paying attention to the menu. Maybe some text prompt that just says "You can Rest here" or "You can Leave from here" when you're in an area where it's possible.
I loved the "character creation" type choices in the text, where you picked a class and equipment and stuff. I think filling out a character in that way is really cool and would love more of it.
Finishing the demo by returning to the city and everyone being disappointed in you was kind of a bummer lol. Maybe include an option that clearly ends the demo while still in the peninsula?
That's all I can think of for now, but am definitely following this game and excited to see more!! Keep it up!
Thank you for choosing Roadwarden to be your first! <3 I'm after a very long couple of weeks filled with writing a whole lot of new content, and it feels so great to suddenly see such a kind comment!
Actually, I've tried to "upgrade" the exploration of the dolmen a bit. You can find more information in the latest devlog, but here's an example. Basically, I've provided more visual clues, so it will be easier to remember any significant clues that the player may find. : )
Thank you for pointing out the lack of clarity with the Leave and Rest buttons, I've heard a similar opinion before and it may be true that I need to provide a better tutorial, or maybe a more distinct visual clue. It gets tricky, since there's a lot of dialogues in the games during which you can "leave" an area, but only when you don't talk about anything specific, so it gets turned on and off all the time. : P It needs to remain subtle.
I currently hope that the game will be edited by the publisher, but its getting trickier and trickier as the time goes on. I'm struggling with deadlines, and there's a LOT of text. Trust me, the demo is already a very small chunk of the game, and I'm still far from finishing it. : )
Once again, thank you and I hope you'll see one of the "happy" endings in not such a distant future. : )
Hello! I just played the demo, finished it in two sittings (had family visiting today). Here is my feedback, although I should let you know that I am not a game developer myself, and this is the first time I've ever commented on something!
I really enjoyed the artwork, the music, and the storytelling- I especially liked the fact that before exploring, there were parts on the map were blacked out. It added to a sense of unease, which perpetrated the entire game. I definitely felt placed in the world-- anxious for what could pop up and possibly hurt my roadwarden or horse. The journal also helped for remembering names and what was already talked about. Maybe impliment something in the journal that calls note to time sensitive quests would be useful, although not doing that could also force the player to be more careful and pay attention to detail.
I think when it comes to investigating things (the sections where you input text on what you want to look at), you could possibly implement an area where the things are more "obvious" to investigate? Or, perhaps edit one you already have. For example, the stone building-- put a more obvious sign on the inside, a campfire, etc that would prompt players to start playing with it in that way. The suggestions were a nice jumping off point, but maybe a section with more "obvious" things to look at would help players get a better sense of the feature, especially those who have not played text RPGs before. I'm thinking of video essays I've watched about intuitive tutorials, where game play got players to figure out what they needed to do without explicit text. I think the tree did this a little bit. After I guessed and put in cut to cut the branches and noticed the blood-like fluid, I knew to sacrifice blood to the tree.
I really enjoyed the game and the characters. I was sad when the demo ended! I'm looking forward to the finished game, and hope my ramble-y feedback was at least somewhat useful.
Dear innocentking,
I'm honored to receive your first comment! Feedback is definitely not reserved for game developers, and I appreciate that you've decided to describe both your enjoyment and the things that you perceive as shortcomings.
And I think that you're right - the dolmen requires more effort on my side and more visual clues. It's one of the oldest parts I've added to the game, and after reading your comment I think it needs to be updated to better reflect the quality I'm aiming for.
Thank you once again!
Hi,
I really enjoyed the demo. Love the atmosphere, I got immersed in this world for sure.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW
Question, where does this demo end? I'm done with the quest for scavenger, tried to do some sacrifice on the altar (no success), done the investigation over the fallen tree.
Plus, I received error message while browsing through the journal, see the full text here: https://pastebin.com/ZwJvADP0
Also, will the Archive be searchable in the next releases?
Thank you, ArquesMartin, I'm sorry that you've encountered a bug. I'll fix it as soon as I can.
The demo "ends" once you unlock 3 "grey" areas that you can't visit. Since you've seen the blockade and the tree in the swamps, it looks like you're done.
I'm not sure how exactly is the Archive going to work closer to the release. You're not the first person that is not satisfied with its current state, but trying to make it more complex is going to be very difficult. I was hoping to make the Journal play a similar role, since it summarizes various information about characters and quests.
Thank you so much for your feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed your time!
Archive is not a bad idea overall, maybe it should be categorized somehow? Like per conversation?
Or, just remove it and, like you say, focus more on the Journal. It may be really hard to use Archives after several hours ingame. Even once those are nicely done - just too much content. Filtering, categorizing, sorting will not make the task easier, still hundreds of pages full of text.
Okay then, I really enjoyed the game in its current state and I just can't wait to see how it progresses. Great work!
I think you're on the right track, thank you that you've decided to share your thoughts. I'm so happy to see that my game is actually interesting for other people, not just me. <3
I'm really looking forward to the full release!
Thank you for the encouragement!
Will the game release on itch, or only Steam?
Hi! Definitely in both places. : ) Itch.io was extremely kind to me and I couldn't abandon it.
Just discovered this demo. Looks very promising. I will leave more detailed feedback later.
I very much like the art.
Hi there! I actually plan to release a new version of the demo very soon, I'm just not sure what the publisher is going to tell. Would you like to wait for a bit?
i liked the idea, only that i think you should make a bit more evident the use of the scholar hability i didn´t notice i could use it in the stone building
Thanks for the demo. I really enjoyed the hour of getting lost in that world. It was a nice experience.
As was mentioned by one player before I had trouble to figure out what to search for / what to type in. After I recognized that I had to use words out of the textgroup before it went way smoother then my failings before. With this said it would be nice to explain this for n00bs like me ;)
I also wondered why there weren't people sitting in the camp after I went in but the text described them. Would be cool to see some depicted there.
Thanks for all the effort and I wish you and your team all the best for the development. Looking forward to the full release!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! Knowing where the game feels unintuitive helps me a lot. : )
I just finished playing the demo and I'm sooooo exited to see the full game! The graphics are fantastic and the storytelling well round off. Keep up! You are doing a great job!
Thank you, Alice, I'm so glad you like it!
Just started the demo. I would love to see the full game. ;)
You have my promise! : D
Played through this demo just now and really enjoyed it. I like the concept, the initial depictions of the world, and the way the prose communicates the physicality of being on a long journey. I love the descriptions and interactions with the peninsula's wildlife and the thought given to how this society operates. I know the music is meant to be temporary but it fits the style of the game quite well. The attitude system is also an interesting concept.
I have a few comments:
-As others have pointed out, there are many, many grammar and spelling errors. However, they don't interfere with comprehension for the most part, so I didn't feel like they were a huge deal at this stage. There was one exception, though: the text minigame prompt being "What are you looking for" and not "What will you look at" or something similar made me think I needed some specific goal or item in mind. The initial answer being "floor" doesn't make sense in that context (the floor is right there, why do I need to look for it?)
-The conversation with the soldiers felt less like a conversation and more like reading several encyclopedia entries. I understand the need to communicate details of the world to the player, but I think they should be spaced apart more and introduced more naturally, especially because I think this world is an interesting place.
-Most of the dialogue choices with the soldiers boiled down to "be an asshole" vs "don't be an asshole", which is never that compelling in video games. I think it'd be more interesting if the conversation was based around the two groups' lack of initial trust in each other, which they could then develop... or not. As is, there didn't seem to be a reason for me to ever not be polite.
(Damn it, and I thought my English got so much better! I have to be more careful!)
I mean, ahem, ahem!
Dear Mr. Hepto, : )
Thank you so much not only for your encouragement, but also for such a gently presented and fair criticism! I want to make it as clear as I can that the things that you've listed are all on my "to do" list, even though I'm not entirely able to agree with your suggestion about "What will you look at." I'll keep thinking, however, about a better way to say "What do you want to pay attention to or look for or interact with right now in hope to find new clues and move forward," I'm sure there's a way to make it feel smoother. : P
There are things that I really want to change in this demo, but I've decided to move forward and push toward finishing the rest of the game. Then I can rewrite the prologue so it would better reflect what's necessary to prepare the player for the rest of their adventure. I also have in mind new ways to convey information, ways that I know worked quite well in other RPGs I've played.
I can be terribly perfectionistic, so I have to force myself to not spend too much time revisiting the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry the game isn't as good right now as it should be, but I promise I'm going to make it proud of the final product!
Once again, thank you so much and I'm glad that you've enjoyed your time as a roadwarden. : )
- Aureus
Really enjoyed playing this game! Super interesting concept. Excited to explore more of the world.
I love your background! <3
Played the 0.3 Demo and generally enjoyed it. Great job!
The art style is nice, and the dedication to story is great.
I did think there was a lag in the pacing of the conversation with the soldiers. It didn't feel meaty enough in the information received to justify the time spent at it. Maybe if they are intended to be more major in the future. I also found the tone of the soldiers to be a little flippant or perhaps too casual when discussing the dangers of the road. That's surely a personal preference, though. Perhaps it was the density of all the references during the info dumps that made it seem so.
I found the typing minigame to be less interesting. It's obvious there must be a secret door there but randomly trying in keywords to find the right pattern was not too fun. It also seems to reset when you type in a wrong word, so I repeated the same keywords many times to get back to where I left off.
I'm sure more graphics will come with time, but would love to see some of the soldiers, the gryphons, etc.
I look forward to the process and improvements, thanks for putting the demo out there!
Thank you, Mochnant, for your feedback! I have some ideas how I could make the game progress faster, I just need to have a larger part of the game finished to be able to measure all the pros and cons. I really appreciate that you've decided to let me know what you think - I take every piece of criticism very seriously, especially when it clearly comes from one's kindness and willingness to help.
I'm also glad that you've like my devlog. It took me a lot of time to put it together. ^^
The devlog was great! I know it is very time consuming but it is nice to see the inner workings of the process.
Thought I'd follow this one up and say I have played through the initial solider conversation in the release version and it is fantastic now. Even having played it before, I was convinced they were going to murder me.
It was interesting, well paced, and tense! Well done!
<3 Welcome back!
Hi. I just checked the demo. First of all, the music is amazing! Is it available on soundcloud? It really fits the mood of the game and does not distract form the process. Second, the dialogs are nice - I really felt the personalities of soldiers there. But at the same time I wanted more action (got bored at some point reading and reading, but maybe I'm just not from the target audience of the game :-) ). I'd like the game had more management aspect as in "the dark room". And, of course, seeing NPCs and gryphons illustrations would be really nice. I also really like the colour palette and pixel art - it really adds to the aesthetics here. i feel the game has quite a lot of potential, keep it up!
BTW does the demo end after the road is cleared from gryphons(I used the pedant)?, because the game was reset and I was returned to the home screen instantly after that (though I see from the devlog screenshot there is some more content in the demo). Anyways, I am lazy to start from the beginning to check if that was a bug or it really ended there (yup, I had no saves available because I could not same my progress, send you the error details via email).
Thank you, Alex! I think you've encountered a bug, and I'm glad you let me know about it. The demo should have had about 2 more "scenes" after the griffon encounter, and I think there may be a problem with the Mac version after all - specifically with saving. I'm going to work on that.
I really appreciate your feedback, and you can find more information about the soundtrack here. There's a chance that the tracks used in the demo won't be used in the final version of the game, but I still hope it won't turn this way. : )
Though I wish the demo was a little longer, it gives a good impression on what more is to come. I'm definitely looking forward to playing the full game.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope the full game will have a Very rewarding "length," though I can't share anything specific just yet. : )
Very nice feel to it and the music sets a perfect mood for a game like this! I really liked how you could choose whether to act friendly or with less emotions towards other characters you meet, makes it even more immersive.
How long did it take for you to create a multiple option game? :)
I don't know if you've heard of Game Development World Championship before (gdwc2019) but it's a competition for indie games and it's free to apply! It's great if you want some more visibility for the game and it only takes a couple of minutes to join.
Thank you! I believe I've been thinking about the design for about a year now, made the first concept art in January and what you could see in the demo is the result of about 3-4 months of development.
I'm definitely going to take a closer at GDWC later today, thank you for the invitation!
That's amazing! :)
Ran fine, Nothing conflicted with my rig. The visual novel itself was very well done. Multiple options seems like story ends up based on your selections. I have a AMD-A8 5600k CPU with GTX 970 GPU
This version works fine! BitDefender had no issues this time. Am playing it now :)
I'm glad it works for you, GunnarRoxen!
any chance for mac release?
Hi there! I've just uploaded the new version of the demo, and it has a Mac release as well. : )
Awesome, will be waiting for release. Thanks
Would like to play it on mac or in the browser. Screenshots and header image look very nice.
Hi there! There's a good chance I'll have the new version of the demo ready on Friday, but I'm going to look for someone willing to test the Mac version since I can create a game's build for it (and I know it worked before), but I can't test it myself. Would you be interested? ; )
sure)
Went smoother than I expected! I've sent you an e-mail. : )
hi, I received it, thanks. Opened with no problem :) Will play it when have some free time :)
btw I develop my own game (already spent about 13 hours on it ) https://alexedev.itch.io/hanna - I did all assets and coding by myself
Thank you! I'll take a look on Hanna later on! I'm having a really crazy day. ; )
sure :)
The demo was shorter than I expected, but I enjoyed what I saw from my characters' adventures. Love being able to use different attitudes when approaching situations; it helps in making separate playthroughs feel more unique. My only quibble is with the writing sounding a bit "modern" for the setting, but it's really not that big of a deal.
Can't wait to see the rest of the story unfold.
Thank you, Adi, I appreciate that you decided to share you thoughts! Would you like to say a bit more about the "modern" writing that you've mentioned? Is it that the idioms that I'm using are too modern, or maybe some words feel like they don't belong?
It's very minor, but some of the words used by the soldiers sound somewhat contemporary. I feel stuff like "crazy shit" or "boyfriend" would sound a bit out of place if someone were to say them 100~200 years ago (at least, outside of America).
I see, thank you! I assumed it's clear that these characters don't really use English, but rather that the game translates the dialogue from a non-existent language to one that we can understand. Maybe I should do a better job with expressing it.
Following contains minor spoilers:
I investigated the Stone Chapel right after the first crossroad before heading to the tavern. After a few inputs and further investigation, i got to this message: "...one picture is very clear for you. A long arrow pointing down". Now no matter what i type the MC wont investigate what the arrow is pointing at! I mean its clear that the MC has an interest in this arrow (at least i would) but when i type (for example) "arrow" it says: "You havent found it"... Is this a bug maybe? If not: How the heck should i investigate this? Since the game has a time-mechanic, backtracking isnt much of an option to me either... Or is this chapel a WiP? I really want to give feedback but after spending about 20 minutes of reading the prologue and deciding wether or not to go to the tavern first, im stuck in this hut :/
Spoilers as well! ; )
Hi! Yes, you can go below! There's a separate quest related to the dolmen, but it's not currently a part of the demo. During this quest you'll get to know that you should look for a "trapdoor". If you'd pick a scholar, your could also read the inscription to find a direct clue.The arrow that you can currently see is, well, vague, since you can't read. If you'd like to go deeper, you should look for a "hatch" or "trapdoor". Nevertheless, you're almost at the very end of the current stage of the demo version.I clicked on the "achievement" when shown in the first crossroads (mine was fighter's axe) and I got this error:
'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While running game code:
File "game/areas/prologue.rpy", line 2617, in script
menu:
TypeError: list indices must be integers, not Null
-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------
Full traceback:
File "game/areas/prologue.rpy", line 2617, in script
menu:
File "D:\Games\roadwarden\Roadwarden-0.25-pc\renpy\ast.py", line 1608, in execute
next_node(self.items[choice][2][0])
TypeError: list indices must be integers, not Null
Windows-8-6.2.9200
Ren'Py 7.2.1.457
Roadwarden 0.25
Fri May 24 14:19:19 2019
I'm sorry and thank you! It really helps.
Wonderful choice of music, I don't get tired of hearing it.
Writing is detailed and evocative. Just a few typos here and there ("an" instead of "and")
Interface is clear and usable, just had a bit of hesitation using the emotions system, I didn't know which lines were influenced by it or not.
Love the colour palette ^^
<3
Thank you so much!
this looks really cool! definitely a project I'll follow, the atmosphere and setting are interesting and evocative, and the premise offers a lot of opportunities for exploring and adventure.
Thank you so much! We all need a bit of exploration sometimes. : )
Very good game and interesting idea :D The colors are simple but fit the atmosphere very well. I hope there will be more information for the MC (I dont know if I missed it or not, but there is no gender for the MC ?).
Thanks you for creating such a beautiful game :) Im looking forward to your future updates :)
Thank you as well for your kind comment, Punnn! I Hope to create a game in which the MC is a character that you build by your own choices and actions. I currently avoid describing their gender exactly because I want to give the player a complete freedom of choice, and in this setting genders are not as important as in feudal or post-feudal societies of medieval Europe. For the sake of the player's own imagination, I also don't want to provide a specific character portrait. Nevertheless, this design approach still may be changed in the future.
Really want to try this but sadly my BitDefender is blocking the exe as it detects (correctly or incorrectly) malware in the exe. Sigh. Will try again with a later version. Game looks like it will be my cup of tea, so good luck with it! I will continue to follow developments - saw it on RockPaperShotgun btw
I'm sorry, I can only give you my word that so far nobody experienced any sort of malware-like issues and the game doesn't try to steal your data or anything - it's working completely offline.
However, I did find posts reaching as far back as 2013 which are also related to BitDefender - it even considered the Ren'Py itself (not the games, just the engine!) a false-positive. So I think it may be an issue that will never be fixed. : (
Thanks for that, though as Ingix says below I've had no issue with other Ren'Py games (I do a lot of python development myself). I'll try the next version you release. Happy to buy this game btw - looks very cool!
Thank you and have a great day! : )
I also use Bitdefender, and don't remember any problems with the demo. Also I run Ren'Py games semi-regularly, and I don't think there is a general problem with it any more with Bitdefender.
This was a lovely little game! I presume later versions will have some kind of proper intro to ease the player into it, but for now that soothing guitar does the job.
I really like the simplicity of the colours, the art style, the music. The writing has me interested and wanting to start a new save to experience some of the other options, which is exactly as it should be.
My only criticisms would be first that you are clearly not a native English speaker and at times this comes across, either with odd punctuation or phrasing or with spelling mistakes. For a game like this the writing is the most important factor so this would need to be rectified.
Secondly, as neat as the colour palette is, it is quite difficult to quickly distinguish between the text and the choices, and the emotion options in the bottom right corner need to be more prominent. Perhaps the best way to make the choices stand out more would be some kind of ornate paragraph marker coming after the text, i.e.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (but nicer looking)
With the emotion options it would be more convenient if they were integrated into the choices themselves, as I found myself forgetting to select an emotion.
Overall though, I enjoyed this. If I didn't I wouldn't be spending my time writing this to hopefully improve the game. Looking forward to more!
Thank you so much! All of the things that you pointed out are important to me - even if some of them won't directly impact my approach to the game, gathering this kind of feedback helps me think about potential issues from a different point of view.
However, I can promise that I'll do my best to give the dialogues a decent proofreader. : )
I appreciate that you decided to reach out to me, thank you so much for it.
Nice demo. I really like the music, the guitar fits well and the art work is simple but effective and adds to the game. I wonder if there will be other guitar tracks for other areas of the game such as when entering darker or more dangerous areas? and another track when encountering unknown characters or situations.
The Archive is a nice feature, it would be cool if there is a search bar which can handle two keywords and search the whole archive, reordering it to the search and highlighting keywords. So you might enter a region name + second keyword. That could be a fun way to delve into what you already have learned rather than the game track of this for you, where it might say when you arrive at a location 'here is the ruined hunters cabin the tinker said you will find something written on the inside wall..' etc. Typing hunters cabin would jump to that part in the archive of conversations.
Also you could perhaps add the ability to highlight a sentence or paragraph and right click to save it as a personal archive, another option in the side menu. Which kind of acts as a note book, adding what we might consider important info to quickly re-read later.
Anyway keep up the good work and i look forward to playing the game when its finished.
Greetings, Daza, thank you for your feedback!
There are still many things unknown about the soundtrack, there's a chance that it will be even significantly replaced. Nevertheless, music is very important for me and I hope to use it to give various areas unique mood and personality.
I'll think about the search feature and the other ideas that you mentioned (I'm not sure if I'm capable of adding them), but I hope that the "journal" is going to play a similar goal that you have in mind.
Once again, thank you for your time and the encouragement. : )
What a wonderful experience, please make this a full game!
Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! <3
I'm really, really in love with this game and it's design, it's amazing. Kudos, dude.
Thank you, it means a lot to me!
Impressed with what I've seen so far. Plenty of interesting choices and I really enjoy the color palate and style.
Thank you, Puzzlebox! I hope to keep the momentum going! : D
Very cool game, slow pace and an interesting setting! Will wait for more.
Thank you! It's very kind of you to share your encouragement.